For the uninitiated, “Fireman Sam” is the venerated “hero-next-door” in the Welsh town of Pontypandy. To be calling Pontypandy a town may be overstating it. Pontypandy is nothing more than a coastal village with no visible signs of industry apart from one fishing boat and a smattering of livestock.
However; Pontypandy Fire Department has to be the most over-resourced government agency in all of Wales. In a village that has only a handful of residents, Sam and his cronies have managed to acquire a collection of rescue vehicles and facilities that would have made a difference during 9/11.
These include:
However; Pontypandy Fire Department has to be the most over-resourced government agency in all of Wales. In a village that has only a handful of residents, Sam and his cronies have managed to acquire a collection of rescue vehicles and facilities that would have made a difference during 9/11.
These include:
- Not one, but two modern fire engines. One of these engines is equipped with a satellite dish (this is more than likely to ensure that the firefighters never miss an episode of “The Great British Bake Off”)
- A six-wheel rescue tender
- A jeep
- A quad bike
- An amphibious vehicle
- A large fire boat
- An inflatable rescue craft (Zodiac)
- A jet ski
- A firetruck on rails, and last but not least
- A helicopter
The fire station itself is a fully computerised triple storey affair with two poles (yes, two) for the firefighters to slide down. The station also features a jumbo sized high definition flat screen to capture all the clarity of “Downton Abbey”. All of this for only 6 firefighters. If you consider that the firefighters work in shifts, this is a gross waste of funds.
Have these funds been attained in a less than apposite manner? Have Fireman Sam and crew been flexing their biceps, exposing their abs, giving private calendar viewings and pressing the flesh in all the right places? Has some government bean-counter been over zealous in showing their appreciation of such displays? This is all conjecture. However; it does bring to bear the questions, “Are these funds being diverted from more needy sectors such as education and health? Is Pontypandy languishing behind the rest of Wales in terms of scholastic aptitude and medical treatment?”
One only needs to look at Pontypandy’s chief arsonist and habitual trouble maker Norman Price to realise that his education is sadly lacking. This bespectacled, red-headed, refractory boy lacks sound judgement, focus, suitable problem solving skills and the ability to learn from his mistakes. It is also noted that Norman Price has been cursed with small eyes, a very thin upper lip, and other abnormal facial features. This all adds up to Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. Was Norman Price’s mother (Dilys) left without quality medical advice throughout her pregnancy? Was she poorly educated to start with? It is obvious that both the health and education systems are failing the good people of Pontypandy.
On a side note, Dilys Price, a single woman with a roving eye is all too quick to forgive her son Norman for his many and varied trespasses; as is Fireman Sam. Is it too much of a stretch to imagine Dilys’ wandering eye settling on a muscled Adonis in the form of Fireman Sam? Is it too much to envisage a dalliance between Fireman Sam and Dilys Price in the aftermath of some catastrophe? Is Norman Price the result of such a dalliance? After all, there are only two “gingers” in the village – Norman Price and Fireman Sam.
Fireman Sam you have no-one but yourself to blame for the profusion of calamity that you encounter on a daily basis. Step up, take responsibility for your actions, channel some of your firefighting funds back into education & health, and, be the “hero-next-door” that your PR machine has so widely publicized.
Have these funds been attained in a less than apposite manner? Have Fireman Sam and crew been flexing their biceps, exposing their abs, giving private calendar viewings and pressing the flesh in all the right places? Has some government bean-counter been over zealous in showing their appreciation of such displays? This is all conjecture. However; it does bring to bear the questions, “Are these funds being diverted from more needy sectors such as education and health? Is Pontypandy languishing behind the rest of Wales in terms of scholastic aptitude and medical treatment?”
One only needs to look at Pontypandy’s chief arsonist and habitual trouble maker Norman Price to realise that his education is sadly lacking. This bespectacled, red-headed, refractory boy lacks sound judgement, focus, suitable problem solving skills and the ability to learn from his mistakes. It is also noted that Norman Price has been cursed with small eyes, a very thin upper lip, and other abnormal facial features. This all adds up to Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. Was Norman Price’s mother (Dilys) left without quality medical advice throughout her pregnancy? Was she poorly educated to start with? It is obvious that both the health and education systems are failing the good people of Pontypandy.
On a side note, Dilys Price, a single woman with a roving eye is all too quick to forgive her son Norman for his many and varied trespasses; as is Fireman Sam. Is it too much of a stretch to imagine Dilys’ wandering eye settling on a muscled Adonis in the form of Fireman Sam? Is it too much to envisage a dalliance between Fireman Sam and Dilys Price in the aftermath of some catastrophe? Is Norman Price the result of such a dalliance? After all, there are only two “gingers” in the village – Norman Price and Fireman Sam.
Fireman Sam you have no-one but yourself to blame for the profusion of calamity that you encounter on a daily basis. Step up, take responsibility for your actions, channel some of your firefighting funds back into education & health, and, be the “hero-next-door” that your PR machine has so widely publicized.